Temper Tantrums

I finally got done with the story. And of course, had a little help from the boss herself to arrange the paragraphs and the ideas a little bit. It doesn’t look bad. Lets see what happens this Friday.

I had a pretty bad day today. I have been trying to keep my temper under control, but the more I try to do that, the worse it becomes. Like for instance, the other day I was screaming at both my mom and my dad, basically having an argument with my mother where my father was the referee. Now the thing is, I have been telling myself for days, to calm down and not to start screaming with ammu especially when abbu is going to be around for a couple of months. The whole thing is so juvenile and immature. Why do I have to scream at people to prove a point?

To make matters worse, I ended up screaming at Ashish da today at work. It was a little embarrassing. I know I could have kept my mouth shut, but I am so tired of people talking about things that they know nothing about! He made a random comment about a judge on Drockstars. It was really nothing and I could have stopped myself from screaming. But I don’t know what came over me and I screamed at him. I literally screamed at him and created a scene.

My horoscope for today even says that I should be a little careful about relating my feelings too openly with people since I might create a scene. I wish I had read it earlier, before anything actually happened.

So much for trying to get a hold on my emotions!

Block

I am so unsure of what I am doing. I had assumed that working on this story would probably be better for me, but everything is just getting hazier and I can actually see numbers and figures doing somersaults in front of my eyes!! I so need to scream!

I should have worked on this longer or maybe just should have given it to someone else in the team to work on. What in the world do I know about the Bangladesh economy and how the remittance has increased from a 3.8 to a 6 billion USD? And these figures have changed so much in the last few months that it is so hard to keep up with them!

I can only see and understand the plight of the poor young men with big dreamy eyes who want to flee to a foreign country for the sake of a better life and three meals a day. They sacrifice everything, their country, their families and step into this zone, which always existed only in their dreams. They move on and face the hardships, in spite of the uncertainties that prevail.

I can't seem to write a proper sentence anymore. There is no coherence, no sense, no impact, and no soul. I have no enthusiasm and I practically see everything in black and white and grey. I think I need to go home and sleep. It's almost 11 pm and I am still at work, typing away nonsense and have no idea what do for my cover.